The Sound and Fury

There is a common misconception among the general public that dementia solely impacts memory. However, this is far from accurate.    

Some symptoms resonate with a symphony of destruction conducted by the relentless progression of the disease. The once graceful footsteps now shuffle slowly and uncertainly, their sharp vision may now be blurred and distorted, the fluent speech now a jumbled mix of fragments and confusion. And the silence that used to offer solace now screams with an overwhelming onslaught of noises each one magnified and amplified to almost painful levels. Again, the symptoms of each person living with these diseases will be different, some more pronounced than others. Dementia is not just a loss of memory, but a loss of self, a loss of abilities, and a loss of the world we once knew.

You may have a loved one who’s living with dementia in the more advanced stage of the disease and notice he or she potentially has trouble experiencing a public environment, such as a restaurant. You and a person who doesn’t have dementia can sit across from each other in a booth and have a perfectly normal conversation. However, if someone living with dementia was sitting across from you, that person may not be able to tune out all the other conversations happening in that public setting. For him or her, trying to focus only on your voice may be disturbing and difficult.

My goal is to maintain their social interactions for as long as possible, as it is crucial for their overall well-being. However, we must stick to a routine when attempting this. Continue going to the same café where you are familiar with the staff. Choose a quiet table far from the restrooms and hostess station. Introducing them to new restaurants with unfamiliar atmospheres only adds unnecessary challenges.

I have a dear friend who has been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia and has experienced this condition for many years now. He explained that walking into a store like a Walmart is like entering an amphitheater. The cacophony of voices, ringing phones, and scraping shopping carts create a deafening symphony that envelops my friend as he walks through the front doors. He can feel the sound waves crashing against his body, overwhelming his already confused mind. The soft music coming out of the ceiling speakers booms like a rock concert, competing with the chatter of customers and the clanging of carts. His senses are overloaded, trying to make sense of it all but ultimately getting lost in the chaos.

First, Walmart and big box stores, such as Costco, Sam’s Club, and others, should be off-limits. I can get lost in a Walmart.

I know someone else who has a daughter and grandchildren living with him in their small home. He loves them dearly, but sometimes, finding a peaceful place in his own house is hard for him. He eagerly anticipates the end of summer school break because then he can finally have some calmness during his days again.

Remember, a seemingly insignificant action like closing a door may not affect us, but to someone with dementia, it can be jarring and unsettling. It's important for us to be considerate and warn them of any loud noises or sudden movements. We should also ask about the television or radio volume, as their ability to tolerate certain sounds may have diminished.

Our role as caregivers is to minimize their anxiety, even if it means having more quiet moments in their homes. We need to reassure them that they can come to us with any concerns or discomfort, and we will address it to the best of our abilities.

Gary Joseph LeBlanc, Director of Education

Dementia Spotlight Foundation - dementiaspotlightfoundation.org